The Crimson Feather Pen

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Intestinal Fortitude

Posted by llacroie on January 22, 2015 at 1:20 PM Comments comments (0)

Sometimes I wish people had a little more vinegar in their piss.


I wasn't born a warrior. Like all mankind, I was a helpless, naked, infant dependent on it's mother to feed it and wipe its ass every time it took a shit. Life shapes and changes the contours of our face. The chuby cherub is molded and squeezed to look the part of who it really is. Have you ever seen a warrior with a babyface?


We, warriors, are pointed at by accusatory fingers of aggressors who can't see beyond our skin. We bleed each day. Internal wounds pronounce themselves, clearly, as smiles on our lips.


In a situation of crisis, everyone has a finger to point; someone to blame.


A warrior is born of two things; truth and intestinal fortitude. Fear weakens a warrior....never concede. Yes, death is a possibility. But, would you rather die a warrior, or someone who betrays their conscience?


We wear warrior marks well. We aspire to live..........and die, having lived well.



Medicine Man

Posted by llacroie on October 16, 2013 at 1:15 PM Comments comments (0)

Medicine Man,

you breathe life

into pharma-pills.

Take my cash..

Give me smiles..

Won't take time,

to read my files..

In the valley of death

you treat the sick like goldmines

bleed illness as milk

blind heart to their tears.


You; Medicine Man


Swallow vows


with Vodka;


Vomit reassurance.



Here's my beef with most doctors in Egypt.

At a time when death threatened to flirt with my mother, I ran! I ran from hospital to hospital, from doctor to doctor, from clinic to clinic, from morning to night, from one side of Cairo to the other. 

Doctors cancelled five minutes before our scheduled appointment.. or they showed up late.. or they didn't show up at all.

They sat in pompous chairs and wrote with pompous pens as they glanced over medical files like they were still studying in med school. Prescriptions Prescriptions Prescriptions Prescriptions.

"The ACE inhibitor will do no good, so we'll take a calcium beta blocker." Ok, but edema kicked in and the water retention is up to her chest.

"Edema is a normal side-effect..her feet will hurt for a while." Ok, you're not listening, the water retention is up to her chest.

"Buy Examide 25mg, take two every morning, it will help with the swelling in her feet." Ok, the water is up to her chest! 

And then you should have seen the look on their faces when we showed up a week later.. "Oh my goodness!! The water is up to your chest!"


Now, don't get me wrong..I know there are some absolutely brilliant doctors here. I know because I've met them. But the majority get two, very big, very pointy, very accusatory thumbs down from me. Two lines of work you don't ever sh** with: Medicine and Education.

Get with it, people, the world will never slow down, it will never stop spinning on it's axis. It won't wait for you.. not for a minute.. not for a second. I don't care what you did yesterday cause the Earth won't spin that way either. I care about now. I care about tomorrow. Once you've read this, take a moment and consider what you're gonna do in the morning..

We'll be here waiting for you to do what you vowed to do. Do you remember the words?

Make Art, Not War...Happy Eid

Posted by llacroie on October 15, 2013 at 11:00 AM Comments comments (0)

Remember when I wrote about the 80s? How the world seemed to be in an utter state of confusion..?

Well, it's 2013, and though I feel as though I, pretty much, get it, I don't feel as though the world is getting with it!  

For real, how many people have to die in the name of God or Sin?

How many must continue to starve while half the world throws out their left-overs?

How many must go to sleep alone when there are others wanting and willing to love and be loved?

And how many must continue to oppress simply because someone, once upon a time, gave them the legal right to..?

Yes, I write about it.. I talk about it.. but I also do something about it. I do what I can because I can.

It's Eid today, and though it's an Islamic season, all over the world people are celebrating. Soon it will be Halloween, and though it's an American festivity, all over the world people will be celebrating. And then Thanksgiving...and then Christmas...and then New Years... and then more and more and more.

I like these celebrations because it's about putting aside differences and celebrating what we have in common. For a short while, we can ignore the agendas, to-do lists, political will, economic crises, and historical turmoils and be the human beings we need to be. For a while, it's not all about's about the others...our brothers and sisters...our fathers and mothers. It's about the rest of the world that defines Mankind to us.

For a while, we stop worrying about ourselves, and carry each other.

It's Eid today, and the last thing I needed was to turn on the television and see the deathtoll from the traffic accidents caused by the oil spilled by the Brotherhood on highways and bridges. 

Exhalation of Spirit

Posted by llacroie on October 13, 2013 at 2:55 PM Comments comments (0)

Incandescent spirit,

begotten from lips,

heart; his eyes;

burn like Myrrh,

Love spins like Dirvishes,

engulfed in blaze,

cooled with mint

smoke of ecstacy.

Inhale me,

Like this.

Carnal Pens

Posted by llacroie on October 10, 2013 at 3:30 PM Comments comments (0)

Sometimes I catch myself indulging in something that tickles faded memories in the back of my mind. 

I read a story... that my husband wrote... just for me. The words sprung from the page like a loaded bullet train colliding with my breath.

After the reading, came the recalling. He was a child and I was a child in the memories of Fort Lee...that's where we met; in the high school cafeteria. I liked his shirt and asked if I could borrow it, to which he replied, "I like your dress, can I borrow it?" Best friends over night.

The older I got, the more I realized just how much he was my role model; kind, generous, loyal, gentleman. 

He writes stories for me with carnal pens that make my mad blood boil. They remind me in every twist and corner how much I love being his everything; his l.i.r.

Cat Games

Posted by llacroie on October 7, 2013 at 3:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Sexy title, right?

I mean, there's something about feline animals that project allure and a sense of elegant mystery. But this entry has nothing to do with all that. See, a little over a month ago, my Dad went out for a walk in the neighborhood and came back carrying a newborn kitten. He found it crying in a dumpster. It was white with little patches of orange and grey.

When I saw it, it was plainly obvious that it was too young to feed on its own. It wouldn't stop crying. In the movie The Crow, the character Eric Draven played by actor/musician, the late Brandon Lee said, "mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all children". Maybe the same applies to cats.. and everything else.

So, my sister did the best she could, but the kitten wouldn't stop crying. We had to find the Mama! At that point, my 11 year old son woke up and caught wind of what's happening. "Mom! What are you waiting for? Get dressed! We have to find her!"

Off we went driving out towards the dumpster my father had described. A new sound caught our ears echoing our little kitten's. Was it the mother?? My son and I crossed the street, and as we neared the dumpster, the voice became louder and so did our rescue's. Their little voices combined were absolutely deafening! What we saw stopped us dead in our tracks. 

In front of the dumpster, just off the side-walk and in the street, was a tiny little black kitten. A sibling??

Instinctively, I bent down and picked it up. To our amazement, the moment I placed the black kitten beside the one I carried, they both became silent. They were together again; home.

In Egypt, we don't have proper animal shelters. In past years, with the economy plumetting, we can hardly shelter our people, let alone our cats. Taking the cats home was not an option for me and my little one. You see, my mother is quite sick and strictly prohibited to be around animals. As much as my heart melts for animals and strays, my mother comes first.

I found a security guard sitting beside a large villa. He had seen the entire episode and promised to ask around for the mother as I placed the two kittens in the shade of a shrubbery by his side. Our hearts prayed for the feline siblings as we drove away.

So, when all this happened over a month ago, why am I writing about it now? Because two days ago a kitten, a little frisky kitten came to play in our garden. She was white with little patches of orange. My son and husband caught it jumping around trying to catch dragon flies. It cries non-stop until someone takes out food for her. Yesterday, a black kitten came by as well; same age.

I write this now on the couch in my living room. Outside my window that leads to the garden, a little white and orange cat has been sitting for the past hour and a half. She cries non-stop when the screen is closed. When I open the screen, she won't come in, but she stops crying.

My husband and my son have made a new friend; seems I have, too.

The Greed, The Greedy, and The Creed

Posted by llacroie on October 6, 2013 at 6:25 AM Comments comments (0)

Do you have faith in what you believe?

For those of us who have been born into ideology, crapped on by sociology and sought redemption in cultural anthropology, how many of us actually have faith in what we believe? A bit of it; perhaps. Some of it; maybe. But all of it?

I work at a private school where pretty much every kid is born with a silver spoon in their mouth. And you know what I see in these kids? DREAMS.

Inside their minds are whirpools of aspirations, it is magnificence in it's truest form. Over the 13 years span of my career as an educator and an academic dean, I've only ever met a handful of these living marvels that actually thought to work to achieve their dreams

So what do I believe? I believe that inside each child, there is a marvel. I believe that society has forgotten what it means to shelter a child in their age of purity. I believe that parents have become slaves to acceptance by their infant children, and in that have foresaken their own responsibilities to teach (yes's not just what we do at school, people. Get with it!). I believe "ignored toddler tantrums" have paved the way to impatience among children, who become risk-taking (not calculating) adolecents, who become spoiled-ass adults. I believe that even at their worst behavior, every kid screams out for guidance. 

Most of all, I believe that money is fiercely overrated and needs to be put in it's place. If I have to see another little child driven to school in a million-dollar BMW, while oblivious to masses who take the train cause they can't afford the bus...

If I have to see another kid order five sandwiches (cause it's lunch time and they're hungry), and then feel full after eating one, and then throws the other four out, while oblivious to half the freakin world that quietly starves every day....

I don't hate money.. I'm disgusted by the facade of money.. by the laziness it brings and the apathy it creates. Go ahead.. go out and get filthy freakin rich.

But do not ever, a day in your life, forget who you are and how important it is for you to be here. Your child is waiting for you to step up to the plate and be the adult you need to be! It's never too late to teach them what's right.

Lion-O vs. SpongeBob Square Pants

Posted by llacroie on October 5, 2013 at 10:50 AM Comments comments (0)

The 1980s boasted an era of complete confusion. Everything was confused; music, fashion, hair, and make-up.

It started with the discovery of the synthesizer and the birth of four chords... and dispersed into the big hair, multi-bright-colors-glow-in-the-dark make-up, and the note-worthy shoulder pads

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a child of the 80s. So while I get sit back and laugh at my pictures as a big-haired 80s kid, I also consider the one solid thing that the 80s did right: Movies and cartoons! No matter what came out of that generation, no one can argue that the 80s were family friendly..right?

We had movies like: Outrageous Fortune, Mazarati and the Brain, The Devil and Max Devlin, Escape to Witch Mountain, Return to Witch Mountain..

We had shows like: Who's the Boss, The Facts of Life, One Day at a Time, Three's Company, The Cosby Show, Knight Rider, The A-Team, Magnum P.I., Cheers, Family Ties, Alf, Different Strokes, Punky Brewster, Charles In Charge, and The Golden Girls.

Most of all, we had our cartoons!! Are you ready for this?? We had: G.I. Joe, Ulysses, Jem, The Transformers, Dino Riders, The Real Ghost Busters, The New Scooby Doo Mysteries, Beetlejuice, Ducktales, Dungeons and Dragons, Ewoks, Heathcliff, Inspector Gadget, Thunder Cats, The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians, Tranzor Z, Robocop, Snorks, Voltron: Defender of the Universe, He-Man: Masters of the Universe, She-Ra: Princess of Power, The Gummi Bears, and The Care Bears.

And then I flashforward to nowadays. I look at media today; the movies, the cartoons, the music... some of it ain't half bad... but when I think of what saturates my son's eyes, ears, and growing mind, I can't help but think to myself that he doesn't have what I had growing up. I had it better. The shows I watched moved my heart the right way. The cartoons, most if not all, had a point; had a lesson; had class.

At 34, when I laugh with my friends today about the "well-adjusted-nut-case" I turned out to be, I find that I owe much of my creativity and moral fiber to the awesome media that surrounded me as a kid. He-Man and She-Ra always came back at the end of the show to make sure that we reflected on what happened in the episode. 

To all the new, creative, talented, fantastic writers out there... the children of the world are waiting for you... work your magic and give them something good!

Bright Muse and The Blue Lantern Corps

Posted by llacroie on October 4, 2013 at 1:30 PM Comments comments (1)

I often thought to myself that if I could be a superhero, then I would call myself "Bright Muse" and that my superpower would be Positive Inspiration; because I'm good at it.

In a world that is perfectly balanced, we may sometimes think to ourselves "why do I have it so tough!" especially when we look around and so many people seem to be living "the good life".

But remember that to strike balance, there are so many delicate factors at hand. Your strength is one of them: Can you carry what's thrown your way? Can you get up and dust yourself off when life hits you like a train? If you think you have it "tough" then chances are you're damn strong to begin with.
Perspective is a gift for those of us who choose to see it. Ironically enough, I'm the one who's been asking the question these days, "why do I have it so tough?!". The answer is: because I'm damn strong and carry the weight to provide balance in the place of another who may not be as strong and is in more need of a break. Their life may depend on it...

When the sun tries to kiss you, don't hide away in your room; go out and live passionately.


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